Long time no see.

Wow, two years. I guess wasn't kidding when I said I wouldn't be updating regularly.

I can't say what exactly prompted me to come back to this blog, but it's been gnawing at me here and there over the past couple of years, so here I am.

There is so much, of course, that has happened since I last posted. I can't possibly cover it all. I did three semesters at TWU before I had to go on extended hiatus due to financial aid problems. I worked at UNT for over a year. Travis moved back to Denton and we're still totes together (though we've been through some rocky moments, as young couples tend to do), and now we're in our own apartment (yay for independence!). I've been to NYC to see my sister graduate with her Master's. I've been in a car accident that left a huge scar on my left arm. I now work full-time for Springbok Academy, a preschool, teaching the "big babies" and the 18-24 months class. And I just started going to Denton Unitarian Universalist Fellowship about a month ago.

I guess it's that last part that brings me here. A need to talk about my spiritual life. Funny, considering my last post two whole years ago.

So, to go back, what I had posted about then did not change for a long time. I was still torn, still embarrassed, still searching.

Then... I don't know. Something changed. Travis and I moved from my parents' place into our apartment at the beginning of February, and at about that time, my search kicked into high gear. Within a couple of weeks I had visited Mardel, the Christian supply store, and bought some books, the most important of which was a very pretty, very nice Bible.

I still have my pagan books stacked prominently next to my side of the bed. But I have some Christian books there, too. And then I have two books entitled Christopaganism and The Path of a Christian Witch. Since reading those books, Christianity and Paganism have come to a peaceful agreement in my heart. Trouble was, I now needed to not be alone in my spiritual path. I needed to talk to people, to feel a part of something.

So, I started looking for a church. I almost, almost ended up going to a friend's hellfire-and-brimstone church (something I'll probably never be able to get fully behind), just because I wanted to go with someone. But I remembered DUUF, a place I had known about for a very long time, but I had never had the cajones to go there. I decided, ultimately, that my need for an open-minded group far outweighed my insecurity in journeying alone, and about four weeks ago, I went.

I am truly thankful to God that I have finally found a place I belong. I have been to DUUF every Sunday morning since my first time, and am now looking to become a member. This is a congregation that doesn't care if you're Christian, Buddhist, Pagan (they have a Pagan group, CUUPs!), Hindu, or agnostic, just so long as you're respectful of everyone's beliefs and you're getting something out of the services. From what I understand (and I'm about to learn more tomorrow at the "New to UU Orientation"), Unitarian Universalism IS its own faith, and one that seems to be very much aligned with my own beliefs, but it is not an exclusive one. You can be a Christopagan Unitarian Universalist. It's a long name, for sure, but it's allowed.

I just hope that I don't end up changing my mind again. This seems more right, more permanent, and I feel very supported in this community, so I don't think I will, anyway. I'm so happy with where I'm at spiritually.

Most of all, though, I think I'm just so happy to finally be able to talk about it. After years of tight-lipped embarrassment, I'm finally getting over my self-consciousness about my beliefs. I'm finding myself telling my friends about going to church, and about why I'm there. And it's okay. Because if someone rejects me because of my faith, they have no business being in my life, because I don't want to be friends with someone who would do that - to anyone.

I may be broke, I may wonder if this is the right job for me, and I may not be able to get back into school, but I am very strong in my faith that God will help me through it all, and I'm not ashamed to say so. :)