I Hate Spiders... So Much

So, today we were finishing up cleaning Silver Wings for the end of the semester. Everyone else had piled into Tenna's truck to go take stuff over to storage, and I was left to move patio furniture into the shop.

So... I'm dragging the wicker love seat over to the shop doors across the patio... and I watch as a BROWN RECLUSE SPIDER runs out from hiding in it onto the ground. I freeze - spiders are seriously my worst fear, and this particular one happens to be the most poisonous in the good ol' U. S. of A. So I'm standing there thinking "Oh shit oh shit oh shit, what do I do?" Well, I figure that the little beast needs to DIE, because I'm sure as hell not going to let it continue to add to the brown recluse gene pool. So I look around... I'm the only one there, so I can't get someone else to do it. The patio, for once, is devoid of one-by-fours, which happen to be perfect spider-smashing tools if available. Finally, I spot Tenna's toolbox off to the side of the patio. Is there a hammer in there? Yes, yes there is! I grab the hammer, and slowly move over to the little git, who thankfully hasn't moved. I quickly work up the courage to go ahead and smash at it - and miss! So I go again... and miss again! And of course, this pisses off the spider, so he starts running around, which freaks ME out. So there I am, playing the arachnid version of Whack-A-Mole, screaming "Die motherfucker, die!" while dancing around like a maniac.

Thankfully, I eventually hit the eight-legged creature. And again, and again, and again. I made sure that all that was left was a venomous pulp. I then stuck the hammer back inside the toolbox and went inside to wait for everyone else. I was done moving furniture. Quite done.